FIRST DAY WE FOUND OUT

because i was cramping and had no idea if that was normal, i called my ob/gyn the second they opened that morning. unsure of what to say or how to explain, i say to the receptionist, "good morning, i was calling because...wait let me start over, i just took a pregnancy test and it was positive and i've never been pregnant before so i wasn't sure what to do next!" wow. that was embarrassing.

the sweet receptionist replies, "okay, well is this sara?"

i'm in freak out mode and respond, "yes! how did you know!?"

she answered back, "we have caller id hunny!"

i was mortified.

she then went on to explain the details about using their practice, when first appointments would be made, etc. then she said because i was experiencing cramping she would check with the doctor to see if they wanted to see me. to be safe, they had me come in for blood work to confirm the pregnancy and test my hcg levels. this is when the anxiety set it.

i was so nervous, what if something was wrong? i had to wait till monday to find out the results. how could i wait that long? i was overwhelmed and knew i needed some medical reassurance and sisterly advice. so andy and i decided to share the news with my sister and brother-in-law that night. so i could talk about how and what i was feeling with my RN sister.

because i wanted our family to find out in unique, memorable ways, i tried to come up with an idea on the fly of how we would tell our baby's future zia ashley and zio vito. this is how it went down:

after andy and vito went to the gym, we all went out for froyo. while in the parking lot before heading in, i quick lean up between ashley and vito in the front of the car and say, "he guys i think i found out why i haven't been feeling good lately..." while holding my phone with a picture of the three pregnancy tests i took and a celebratory graphic that says "we're pregnant!"

my sister turns back to face me with tears in her eyes and says, "you can't be having a baby, you're my baby sister!" we laughed, cried and then hugged each other.

after the shock and excitement settled in, i told her we were really early in the pregnancy, and expressed my anxiety about the cramping i was having. she calmed my initial fears like she always does.

before heading home she asks, "so, when are you telling mom? you know she will be so upset if i knew and she didn't."

i was still uncomfortable with the thought of telling anyone else since i was so early and hadn't received the blood results yet. but my sister had made a valid point. so, we decided to share the news with my mom and step-dad the next day at their house. we did a lot of special reveals of our baby news to friends and family in the weeks to come. i plan to dedicate a post completely to this, so be sure to check back!

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SOMETHING FEELS DIFFERENT

i'd been feeling a little out of my norm, but just attributed it to "that time of the month." there was a sense of disappointment when the usual symptoms began to appear that i am graced with each month, because i had been hoping this would be the month the dreaded you know what wouldn't come.

but, since i was feeling not quite like myself, i decided to take a test. that was a sunday. and just like i had seen many times before, there was only one line. because it had only been month two into our trying, i hadn't got my hopes too high, figuring babies just don't happen that fast and it will happen on god's time. so, i moved on with my day and was hopeful it would happen in the coming months.

that tuesday following, i had the most vivid dream. i was laying in bed, nursing our baby girl. it felt so real and i woke up wanting to relive it, to dream of her more. like i always do, i woke andy up and told him what i had just experienced and how it made my heart feel overjoyed--i was yearning for our baby.

as the week progressed i began to feel a lot of strange discomfort in my stomach. cramping, pulling, aching. it felt like your typical cramps, so again, i figured i was going to get it any day now.

when the cramping got bad, waking me up in my sleep, i was at the point of needing some relief from my usual treatment of cramps, ibuprofen. however, since having that vivid dream on tuesday, i felt a small part of me wanting to double check and get the clear to go ahead and use medication. so at 5 a.m. i rolled out of bed and into the bathroom, grabbing the last test i had under the sink. without even turning the bathroom light on, i proceeded to do my business on the ept. half asleep and no expectations, i grabbed my cell phone to use for light to check the results. my stomach dropped and my eyes welled up the moment i saw that second pink line appear.

i jumped up, without even pulling up my pants, and turned the light on. i walked over to andy asleep in bed and said "baby..." to him with a shaky voice and the test in my hand. he shot straight up and repeated over and over "nuh-uh...nuh-uh...nuh-uh!" yep. we are having a baby!

winslow had been asleep at the end of the bed and as soon as he saw our excitement he jumped up to join in, immediately going straight for the end of the stick he shouldn't. that boy has no boundaries.

it was friday, june 27 at 5 a.m. and we had just received the most exciting news of our lives. how do you even proceed with the rest of your day?! i couldn't even process what was happening, but wanted to never leave that moment, so i asked andy if we could just stay home together all day. of course he had meetings so we couldn't. but that didn't mean i was going to even try to concentrate at work.

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